One of my missions is to challenge the assumption that small congregations have little or nothing to offer children. Here are some more thoughts about how a healthy, loving small church can be a great blessing to families with children. There are good reasons for choosing a small church for your children’s sake. If you become involved with this kind of congregation,
• Your children will have a nurturing extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who will truly be interested in them, encourage them, attend their sports events and performances, and celebrate their milestones. My daughter describes the senior generation at our church as her “grandfriends.”
• Your children will learn how to follow Jesus from observing adult disciples of Jesus, knowing them well, and serving actively alongside them. For the rest of their lives, your children will remember these role models in faith.
• Your children’s concerns will be taken very seriously. The pastor has time to spend with your children and can get to know each child personally.
• Your children’s talents will be welcomed and appreciated. What better place, for example, for a young musician to make his or her debut than in the midst of the gracious circle of a small church?
• Through ongoing relationships, your children and older adults will enrich one another’s lives and learn how to love and care faithfully for one another over the long haul of life.
I sometimes hear people say that they want their children to go to church with a large group of children. While it may be more exciting and more fun to be around a lot of children their own age, school, scouting, sports teams, and other programs meet that social need well. What is rare in today’s society is the opportunity for different generations to mix and become one people in life and mission together. In today’s world people of different ages and life stages are stratified and lead largely separate lives. They even live in separate communities. Congregations are often stratified in the same way. Intergenerational small congregations offer a much-needed alternative that challenges everyone–younger, older, and in-between–to love each other as neighbors.
If you are looking for a church for your family, don’t just automatically drive past a small church. Stop in and take time to get to know the people. Give them a chance to bless you and your children. You may find that God has led you home.
You may also be interested in these posts:
Mr. Rogers, children, and the small church…
Small Church Children: Growing Up in the Arms of the Saints
How One Family Ended Up Choosing A Small Church
Click on Children in the Church in the sidebar for more links.
The Mustard Seed Journal 
As a small-membership church pastor for 12.5 years, I agree 100% and appreciate you putting this reality into words. The intergenerationality of small-membership churches is one of our greatest blessings. Studies show that kids that grow up with significant relationships with adults other than their family do better at Everything. It’s time to spread the word! Thanks!
You’re welcome, Rebecca, and thank you for visiting me on the blog!
As a Youth Minister that work in Youth Ministries that serves around 40 small congregations, thank you for this post! I am who I am because of being raised in a small congregation for exactly the reasons you share!
You’re welcome, Sean. I am who I am because of being raised in a small congregation, too. I would like to hear more about your work. How do you work with so many small congregations?
Mary, I am a Field Minister with Community of Christ. Our congregational Pastors as well other congregational ministers are ordained but almost all serve as a self-sustaining minister while having another vocation that financially sustains them. Our congregations are grouped together in jurisdictions known as Mission Centers. The jurisdictions has paid ministers to assist these groupings of congregations and the entire church as a whole. Our Mission Center has just under 40 congregations so I work to assist them where needed. Though the primary part of my job includes overseeing the Youth Camps for three campgrounds in two states that are served by these almost 40 congregations.
Thanks for writing back, Sean! We need many, many more bivocational pastors in the PCUSA, but there is still a lot of resistance, plus we need to discern how to support our candidates so that they can develop the skills of a second calling, or of another source of income at any rate. How do you all do that?
Love this! We are members of a small church and I love that our son knows everyone and everyone is so patient and kind with him!
Thanks so much for stopping by. Peace be with you, your family, and your congregation!
Hi Mary,
Good to see you this week at the Coordinating Body meeting and you are a blessing to work with on the Pentecost Project Team! Thanks for the post and I really enjoyed it. My friend Rebecca Kirkpatrick has a blog and posted on the same subject with a twist. Hope you have a chance to read it –
http://www.breadnotstones.com/2013/12/the-sound-of-my-childs-voice-choosing.html
Peace,
Byron
Hey, Byron! Thanks for stopping by, and for all your encouragement! I read Rebecca’s post and put a link to it on my blog. I enjoyed it, and I enjoy her blog in general. I’m going to miss the Pentecost Project meetings, but I’m also looking forward to helping with implementation. Blessings, Mary
I, too, pastor a small church (Faith Presbyterian, in Hayden, ID). And we have folks who are amazingly gifted at nurturing our most precious–and scarce–resource: children.
Thanks for stopping by! Peace be with you and your congregation.
Do you give permission to reprint in newsletters? We have a couple of visitors who haven’t committed to the church because of their perceived lack of children.
Yes, Rosemary! Please do share this in any way that is helpful. Blessings to you and your congregation.
Growing up in a small church was probably influential on me hearing a call to become a pastor. That’s both a blessing and a burden but still the voice of God came through loving older adults.
Growing up in a small church definitely led to and shaped my call. I think so often of all the saints that raised me. Most are in the Church Triumphant now. Thanks for stopping by!
[…] Mary Harris Todd offered this nice reflection, “Give a small church the chance to nurture your children.” […]
What a well written subject on small churches and the benefits for people of all ages. TUC has always had innovative and thoughtful programs, fellowship and a diverse caring congregation.
Thanks so much! Blessings to you and your congregation.
[…] Give a small church the chance to nurture your children. […]
Just shared this on our church facebook page. Excellent. As a small church PC(USA) pastor for 30 plus years i always find it sad that people think there is nothing for their children in the small church. My 2 (now adult daughters) were raised without youth groups but an extended family church family. They are glad that they were allowed and encouraged to be part of the whole community of faith and not relegated to the “youth” room. They have also found the church to be there for them at times when their own extended family is not.
Thank you so much! My daughter, now a senior in college, would wholeheartedly agree with your daughters. Blessings on your ministry and your new blog.
[…] For more about children in small churches, see this post, Give a Small Church the Chance to Nurture Your Children. […]
[…] This post pairs with one I wrote on a similar theme: Give a Small Church the Chance to Nurture Your Children. […]