My husband, John, and his grandmother, Blanche Todd
I often think about how faith is transmitted across generations. Last night I heard a story about the power of shared faith across generations. I was listening to a book entitled The Spiritual Child, by Lisa Miller. It’s about the neuropsychology of spirituality, and how nurturing children’s innate capacity for spirituality helps them thrive. The book is very repetitive and a bit sleep-inducing, and I am still listening for practical applications. However, this story was striking.
The author describes what happened one Sunday morning aboard the New York City subway. When she boarded, she saw that the passengers were crowded at one end of the car. At the other end of the car was a disheveled man clutching a bag of fast food, brandishing a piece of chicken at the other passengers and yelling, “Hey! You want to sit with me? You want some of this lunch?” The author took an empty seat across the aisle from the man. At every subway stop the man issued the same invitation as people boarded.
At one stop an elegant older woman boarded with a young girl, about eight years old. They appeared to be a grandmother and granddaughter. They were beautifully dressed for a church service. When the man saw them, he issued his invitation: “Hey! You want to sit with me?” The grandmother and granddaughter looked at each other, nodded, and sat down right next to the man, looking into his face. “Thank you,” they said in unison to him. The man and all the passengers were shocked. “Do you want some?” he bellowed as he offered his chicken. They replied, “No, thank you,” and again looked at each other. He asked again, in a calmer voice, and they patiently replied with kind voices, “No, thank you.” This was repeated a few times, and each time, the man grew calmer and calmer, until he was quiet. The grandmother and granddaughter looked at each other with understanding and agreement.
It was clear to the author that the grandmother and granddaughter had a shared spirituality. The look that passed between them, which the author calls “the nod” was a sign of something deeply shared. It was a sign of spiritual direction and values taught and received in a loving relationship between an elder and someone younger. The author felt like she was witnessing the passing of a sacred torch.
My hunch is that this granddaughter had accompanied her grandmother and observed her kind manner and respect for others many times before. And soon this way became a part of who the granddaughter was, too. The author went on to point that out that the strength of this kind of connection across generations makes a big difference as children learn to live with the ups and downs of life. Among its blessings are a sense of security and resiliency.
I give thanks to God for my grandmother and all the elders in my life who gave this gift to me. I’m still looking for ways to pass that sacred torch on.
The Mustard Seed Journal 